in_aeternum

...gone fishing....

Today is my last class of course one. I am taking Cake Decorating. Yes, I will be the future Martha Stewart. Ok, who am I kidding, that ain't happening.
I am dreading my class today. I baked the cake already, now I need to make buttercream, ice the cake and go to class. I don't like the teacher, she is a good Christian lady. Basically not my type. And the rest of the girls are mommies, the reason they are taking the class is because they are bored and have nothing to do. I am actually trying to learn this. They talk about Christian this and Christian that. I said a word fuck one day, they glared at me, eat my flesh with with their eyes.
I wonder if I can just come to class, sign in and leave. I have one hour, need to go make buttercream.

3:00 A.M.
Yes, sleep has occurred to me. Just, not happening.
Do you feel sorry for yourself. I think you do.
For those that it is not a problem, envy, dark envy.

"God created sin so we might know His mercy"

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve through not dying.
--Woody Allen

I know it has been a long time since I have posted last. A lot of events have occurred but I will cover them sometime later.
There is something that is bothering me right now. It has started to get to me, really get to me.

For some reason there are people out there that think that I really enjoy staying home. They believe I am leaving off my husband (in witch I am, but damn I got a reason!), go shopping, watch TV all day (when I don't even have cable to watch TV all day), go to lunch with other unemployed house wives. Well that has really starting to piss me off.

Less then two years ago, I worked over 70 hours a week for months! Not a week or two, for months. I started working full time when I was 14 and worked full time until last year. I know what it is like darlings; I know what it is like to have a nasty boss, to manage a team of people, to have your own business. Been there done that. There are unfortunate reasons why I don't currently work and I presume most of you have already figured it out if you didn't know. I cannot tell you how excruciatingly hard it was for me at first to get use to idea that I cannot work full time; I have always worked and supported myself. I was so depressed that I wasn't able to do what I was best at, to fulfill myself professionally, my work has always gave me such drive, and I have lost it. It wasn't easy to get use to that idea. Leaning on my husband was odd and unusual.

So before you are ready to pass your judgments, think, really think. Maybe you are the one who wants to be in my shoes, and I am the one who wants to be in yours. But you know what; also consider yourself lucky enough that you have enough strength and vitality to work, to do what you like because not everyone has that previlage.

Just finished watching Fast Food Nation. I might not eat meat today.